10 Biggest Gym Douchebags – Part Deux
As you may recall I visited the topic recently. My original article on the biggest gym douchebags in the gym can be found here.
These are the individuals that are annoying, stupid, irrational, or a combination of the aforementioned. Cue DJ Khaled because we’re back with another one. There were simply too many douchebag-types to fit onto a single article so let’s take a look at some of the other gym idiots floating around every gym in America.
Remember when approaching any of these individuals bro-discretion is advised.
Yet Another 10 Gym Douchebags
#1 – “The Hazard”
This guy is like the T-1000 liquid metal in Terminator 2. He can take on any shape or size and comes in several varieties, but one thing we can all agree upon is he is dangerous!
Whether it’s a 120 pound guy attempting to clean and jerk 400 pounds with extremely sketchy form, or the YOLO guy who is attempting to bench 405 with no spotter when he clearly can’t even hit 315, the clear consensus is that this individual is a danger to himself and possibly others.
You can attempt to save this one if you choose, but be advised he may injure you in the process. Just remember folks… Olympic lifts should be performed several feet away from the nearest person (or not at all).
#2 – “The Rapper”
Now this is an individual that in my experience is at every single gym. This person may come in many shapes and sizes but always has the same personality.
You know who I’m talking about…
It’s the one guy that feels he must rap every song that is on his Pandora playlist. He is constantly using hand movements while wearing his oversized and overpriced headphones endorsed by a famous entertainer.
A certain individual that feels as though he is the second coming of Eminem and that deadlift platform is located directly on 8 mile. This guy generally does hand movements in between dumbbell curl sets of infinity.
#3 – “The Boxer”
The boxer generally enjoys punching air, mixing in left hooks and jabs in between. These jabs are followed by poorly executed roundhouse kicks.
What makes this gym bro a douchebag is the fact that he is wasting time and gets in the way of people attempting to get in a decent workout done. If you want to box, go to a dojo or even the Zumba room.
I honestly don’t care where you go to but please… move out da whey!
#4 – “The Sweaty Guy”
Now there is absolutely no shame in sweating hard. Sweating profusely can be a sign of a great workout in progress.
However, the sweaty guy will stay parked on a single bench for sometimes up to an hour or more then promptly leave the bench covered in sweat so badly it looks like the bench has been through a torrential downpour.
Guys remember to always use the disinfectant spray and wipe down your bench. The only disease we want to catch at the gym is swol-e-osis.
#5 – “The Single Set Guy”
Most of us know that based on scientific studies, multiple sets prove to be the most beneficial to muscle growth and strength. Not to say that a single set doesn’t provide benefit.
But this is the guy that will do a single set of dumbbell press with 20’s then walk on to the next exercise immediately.
Generally these guys have workouts that last 10 minutes tops because “they’re just toning bro I don’t wanna get too big.”
#6 – “The Weight Matcher”
This is the guy who is overly competitive. He feels the need to duplicate every set you are doing while simultaneously trying to increase the weight.
It’s shoulder day and you are doing lateral raises with a modest weight of 30’s. Suddenly without warning this guy who was just doing curls says screw it, it’s shoulder day now bitch.
With no warmup whatsoever, this guy grabs 50’s and starts doing lateral raises with subpar form flailing their hands in the air like they just don’t care. It’s not a race or a competition buddy, form over weight always wins.
#7 – “The Ego”
The ego guy can be seen torturing any number of exercises. Whether this lifter is attempting to curl 80 pounders with improper form or trying to bench tree-fiddy using reps that go less than an inch down, he can’t seem to get it through his head that he is going too heavy.
Lighten up the weight, practice proper form, and focus on progression.
#8 – “The Attention Girl”
This list is not exclusive about guys.
We all see this girl. She is the one standing unnecessarily close to the free weight benches practicing stiff leg deadlifts with 5 pound weights. She is hoping for some attention because one thing is for certain, that workout she is doing isn’t working a damn thing.
Yes, we all know yoga pants are God’s greatest gift to man. But I say no thanks to the distraction.
Ain’t nobody got time for that!
#9 – “The Question Guy”
Now do not get it twisted, there is nothing wrong with asking another bro a question or two about their workout plan or even their diet. But there is a certain point where too questions can be disruptive.
This guy may ask “hey how did you get your arms so big,” or “woah man what kind of diet are you on right now.” These are the types of questions that are very open ended, require a lengthy explanation, and quite frankly are annoying to the workout.
If a guy is wearing headphones he means business, so leave him alone. Instead head over to the forums at tigerfitness.com to get some help.
#10 – “The Medicine Ball Guy”
This guy uses the medicine ball so religiously that you would think he has never used a dumbbell in his life.
Not to say there isn’t a proper time and place for the medicine ball, because I believe they can be useful in certain circumstances. However, this guy will do anything in his power to use nothing else.
Whether he is constantly slamming the medicine ball against the ground repeatedly or throwing it as hard as possible against the wall, he is dead set on believing this ball holds the keys to Gainster’s Paradise. The truth of the matter is all he is doing is distracting everyone else in the gym from their workout.
There’s a time and a place for everything just don’t make it your entire workout.
The Last Word
Gym douchebags exist in every corner of every gym. There is simply no way around it. However, we hope that you have learned to spot the douchebags that are either annoying, dangerous, or just plain dumb.
Worst case scenario, put on those headphones and block out everything around you to simply kill your workout!